Yorkshire uncuffing season

Britain may or may not be about to leave the EU in the next couple of weeks and a similar thing is happening in relationship land. Apparently there’s a huge spike in breakups come spring. Mid-March is when it all peaks and newly-found singles are let loose into bars and beer gardens all over the country.

 Welcome to uncuffing season. Winter is cuffing season, when people panic at the thought of spending long cold nights alone, and hitch up with a partner to snuggle with. Then spring arrives and with it, the realisation their snuggle partner might not be all that after all. Or maybe they’ve been hit by spring fever and feel the urge to cast off the old and unworkable and play the field, or get a summer romance.

 The days are longer and in Helmsley, everyone is coming out to play. Lamborghinis and Ferraris cruise around the market square followed by Land Rovers and an endless parade of motorbikes. At the slightest suggestion of sunshine, people sit squashed at tables outside The Feathers, The Black Swan and La Trattoria.

 Spring endorphins are starting to buzz and fittingly, like a teenager in the first throes of romance, on Sunday I went to watch Enduro ride his motorbike in woods just outside the village at an event. He was already mud splattered when I arrived, trying to fix his bike.

 Out of the sunshine, it was freezing in the forest. I got a hot cup of tea and stood watching him mess around with screws and bolts and parts, while engine noise roared on around us. There’s something really sexy about a man fixing something mechanical. Watching Enduro in his gear, his brow furrowed, I wondered if he’d show me the same focused attention between the sheets.

 You’ve got to be fairly hardy to do this sport. Riding along forest track, down ravines and through ditches, you get caked in mud and fall off a lot. It also looks like ridiculous fun. Enduro loves it. Bike fixed, off he went towards the trail, arm and thigh muscles flexed.

Bucking the spring trend, I think I might be heading for a cuffing.