It’s always juicy to gossip about someone’s else’s relationship. Today I was having a drink by the river in York with a girlfriend and we were dissecting the love life of a mutual acquaintance.
The boyfriend of this girl:
a) Is addicted to porn;
b) Constantly future fakes, i.e. tells her he sees them living together not now, or soon, but in a year or more;
c) Commits to seeing her in a rigid schedule of Tuesdays and Saturdays, but never on other days;
d) Owing to her curvy frame, calls her ‘thunder thighs’. Lovely.
She must, my friend and I decided, dump him immediately.
Of course, it’s always easier to judge someone else’s relationship than take a long hard look at your own. Most people have put up with behaviour they really shouldn’t have. I know I have.
After 20 years of involvement with the opposite sex, what I also know is that a grown man acts in a way directly opposite to that of the boyfriend of this girl. A grown man who has evolved past the mentality of an immature boy does these 3 things:
1. He prioritises you. The grown man doesn’t place you under his work/sport watching/gym schedule/pub visits. He has his own life and interests but he never makes you feel as though you come second to these.
2. He nurtures you and supports your dreams. Because the grown man is secure and comfortable in himself, he is not threatened by his wife or girlfriend being the best she can be. Instead of cutting her down owing to his own insecurity, he wants her to feel good. He builds her up.
3. He gives you a sense of protection. The grown man both respects and protects females. The partner of a grown man does not feel on edge around him. Rather she feels a sense of covering from him, and not in a suffocating way.
The other terrible thing the boyfriend of this girl does – or rather doesn’t do – is that he never makes her climax. Definitely, definitely, time to get shot.